{"id":1237,"date":"2020-04-25T11:13:27","date_gmt":"2020-04-25T11:13:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/feedmethewordtoday.com\/?p=1237"},"modified":"2020-07-24T22:28:34","modified_gmt":"2020-07-24T22:28:34","slug":"how-to-change-your-children-attitude-to-respect-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/udiwonder.com\/word\/how-to-change-your-children-attitude-to-respect-you\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Change Your Children Attitude To Respect You"},"content":{"rendered":"

Families simply can\u2019t function without respect, but the more we push for it, the more elusive it seems to be. So what\u2019s the answer? Why won\u2019t children fall into line? Why don\u2019t they give respect when we demand it? What could possibly help?\u00a0There are no easy answers, but there are steps to take in a better direction.<\/p>\n

We often forget that children aren\u2019t born with a built-in sense of respect for others. Our children need to be taught to be respectful.<\/p>\n

Think about it, from birth, kids have to manipulate their world to get their needs met. Usually by crying. It\u2019s natural and appropriate.<\/p>\n

But as kids get older, it\u2019s our job as parents to teach them respectful ways of getting their needs met. And crying, manipulation, and disrespect are certainly not respectful ways to accomplish this.<\/p>\n

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1. Be Respectful When You Correct Your Child<\/h3>\n

\"Encourage<\/p>\n

When your child is being disrespectful, you as a parent need to correct them in a respectful manner. Yelling and getting upset and having your own attitude in response to theirs is not helpful. In fact, it often only escalates their disrespectful behavior. The truth is, if you allow their disrespectful behavior to affect you, it\u2019s difficult to be an effective teacher.<\/p>\n

Instead, you can pull your child aside and give them a clear message of what is acceptable. You don\u2019t need to shout at them or embarrass them.<\/p>\n

One of our friends was excellent at this particular parenting skill. He would pull his kids aside, say something quietly (I usually had no idea what it was), and it usually changed their behavior immediately.<\/p>\n

Use these incidents as teachable moments by pulling your kids aside calmly, making your expectations firm and clear, and following through with consequences if necessary.<\/p>\n

2. Identify the cause for disrespect and focus on teaching problem-solving alternatives<\/h3>\n

When genuinely being disrespected, we should pay attention to the circumstance instead of going off on the child, \u201cYou are being disrespectful!\u201d Ask your child why they act that way they are acting.<\/p>\n

3. Set Realistic Expectations for Your Child\u2019s Behavior<\/h3>\n

This may actually mean that you need to lower your expectations. Don\u2019t plan a huge road trip with your kids, for example, if they don\u2019t like to ride in the car. If your child has trouble in large groups and you plan an event for 30 people, you\u2019re likely to set everyone up for disappointment and probably an argument!<\/p>\n

It is often helpful to set limits beforehand. For example, if you\u2019re going to go out to dinner, be clear with your kids about what you expect of them. This will not only help the behavior but in some ways will help them feel safer. They will understand what is expected of them and will know what the consequences will be if they don\u2019t meet those expectations. If they meet your goals, certainly give them credit, but also if they don\u2019t, follow through on whatever consequences you\u2019ve set up for them.<\/p>\n

4. Assume your position as leader of the home<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Being a leader isn\u2019t just about being in charge. It\u2019s also about setting a good example and inspiring others to do their best. Behaving like a leader also means being compassionate. When you empathize with your children, they\u2019ll be more open to your suggestions and opinions.<\/p>\n

5. Respect yourselves as parents to your child<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

This is huge. The relationship<\/a> between parents sets the tone for the greater family dynamic. When children see mom and dad treat each other with love and respect\u2014despite their differences\u2014the standard has been set.<\/p>\n

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The relationship between parents sets the tone for the greater family dynamic.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

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6. Spend more time teaching love than teaching rules<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Children who are taught the\u00a0connection between love and discipline\u00a0can accept consequences more easily than those who are governed exclusively by \u201cdo it because I said so\u201d and \u201cchapter and verse.\u201d<\/p>\n

7. Live with integrity<\/h3>\n

Children are master observers. Personal work ethic\u2026 Paying bills\u2026 Charitable giving\u2026 Helping others\u2026 Generous with tips\u2026 Talking positively about others behind their backs\u2026 All of these are areas where we build and sustain the kind of character our kids will respond to with respect.<\/p>\n

8. Don\u2019t be a pushover<\/h3>\n

If you let your kids walk all over you (you don\u2019t follow through on discipline, you give in when they pitch a fit, you let them treat you disrespectfully), why will they respect you?<\/p>\n

9. Don\u2019t stoop to their level<\/h3>\n

Kids will be kids. They\u2019ll whine, they\u2019ll have temper tantrums, they\u2019ll pout. If you\u2019re acting that way too, they\u2019ll likely have little respect for you. Keep your cool. Instead of yelling, \u201cDon\u2019t you say that to me, it\u2019s disrespectful!\u201d\u00a0Calmly respond to their misbehavior.\u00a0\u201cYou know, we don\u2019t talk to each other like that in our family. We treat each other with respect. Go to your room and think about what you said.\u201d<\/p>\n

10. Respect your children\u2019s privacy<\/h3>\n

As children and teenagers get older, they need more privacy. Just as you wouldn\u2019t want other people reading your journal entries, text messages and emails, you shouldn\u2019t infringe on your children\u2019s privacy in that way either.<\/p>\n

11. Set an example for your children to follow<\/h3>\n

Your children are watching you, whether or not you realize it. Demonstrate the behavior you want to see in them, and practice what you preach. If you don\u2019t, your children won\u2019t respect you.<\/p>\n

12. Acknowledge your children\u2019s effort and good behavior<\/h3>\n

Your children want your approval, so it\u2019s important to recognize their effort, particularly if they\u2019ve tried hard. This principle applies even in situations when the outcome isn\u2019t ideal. When you appreciate their efforts, they\u2019ll feel proud of themselves, and they\u2019ll\u00a0feel motivated to try hard\u00a0next time.<\/p>\n

13. Don\u2019t discipline your children when you\u2019re angry<\/h3>\n

\"Establish<\/p>\n

When you\u2019re angry, you\u2019re more likely to overreact or say things you might regret. Instead, show your children that it\u2019s OK to be angry, but that it\u2019s possible to manage your emotions effectively.<\/p>\n

14. Ask for your children\u2019s opinion<\/h3>\n

Your children will feel more appreciated and respected if you ask for their opinion. You can ask them where they\u2019d like to eat for dinner, or what they\u2019d like to do for your family time activity. Doing this demonstrates that you value their opinions, which means they\u2019ll be more likely to value your opinions too.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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15. Speak \u201cpositively\u201d instead of \u201cnegatively\u201d<\/h3>\n

Tell your children what you\u2019d like them to do instead of what you don\u2019t want them to do. For example, saying \u201cPlease walk when you\u2019re in the house\u201d is more effective than saying \u201cNo running!\u201d<\/p>\n

16. Show an interest in your children\u2019s hobbies and activities<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

When you do this, your children will know that you care about them as people. They won\u2019t feel as if you only care about how they\u00a0perform in their academics, athletics, music, etc. (Many of the children and teenagers I\u2019ve worked with have told me that this is exactly how they feel!). Showing a genuine interest in their hobbies and activities will help you build a stronger parent-child relationship. This means that your children will be more likely to show you respect.<\/p>\n

17. Don\u2019t let your children walk all over you<\/h3>\n

This doesn\u2019t mean that you should exert your power and authority in every situation. Rather, it means that you shouldn\u2019t give in to your children just to avoid an argument. Strive for a win-win situation (or a no-lose situation at the very least) whenever conflicts arise. You\u2019ll gain the respect of your children, and they\u2019ll learn negotiation skills in the process too.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Reference:<\/strong><\/p>\n